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Pastoral Perspective

Child Discipline
and Language Tricks



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The power of language is immense. The Bible teaches that there is power in the tongue — "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Pr 18.21)."

Therefore by monkeying with the language of the tongue we have the potential to shape society in a whole different fashion. The media is quite adept at playing this game. When the issue of abortion is raised the combatants are termed PRO-choice and ANTI-abortion. The prefixes cast a positive light on those who prefer murder and a negative light is cast on those who prefer life. They recognize that most people don’t want to be cast in a negative light. It’s part of the human psyche.

For this same reason the homosexual movement is called the GAY movement. The word "gay" carries the connotation of "happy, cheerful, joy, mirth." All of these are positive qualities and so the psychology is that homosexuality can’t be bad simply because they are GAY. People used to wear "gay" apparel. Try telling your male neighbour that he’s looking very "gay" in his apparel and I think you’ll understand more fully the power of language from experience!

The struggle of this decade, as it has always been, has been the struggle of raising well behaved children. The battle has been swayed in the favour of the misbehaved child by the psychological language game.

As a result of the fall of man the Bible tells us that "The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies (Ps 58.3)." This is the natural course for all men as we are all "conceived in iniquity (Ps 51.5)." A baby is conceived by the coming together of a man, who is a sinner, and a woman, who is a sinner, and thus the natural result is that a sinner is conceived. As Job asked, "Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean?" To which he answers, "Not one (Job 14.4)."

We must understand that that little bundle of innocence that we bring into our home is first and foremost a SINNER. Something must be done in the home to repress this sinful nature, and here is where the psychology of today has handcuffed parents. We have a handful of children even in our little community who roam the streets looking for trouble — this is natural. Most of the social workers of the day would say that all these children need is love. My response sounds different for I say all they need is a good BEATING. Take your hand off of your mouth. You have just become the latest victim of language psychology. The word BEAT has been cast in an unfavourable light, and like the liberated women who threw away their bras in the 60’s we have thrown away our rods. Neither have fared the better for it.

When the word BEAT is used the visual images that are conjured are those of children black and blue from being PUMMELLED. PUMMELLED and BEAT are two different things. BEAT means "to strike (a man or beast) with blows of the hand or any weapon so as to give pain; to inflict blows on, to thrash; to punish by beating."

We have this basic instinct to avoid situations that we associate with pain. Time-outs don’t bring pain and thus the child is not left with a deep impression to avoid this behaviour pattern. It’s the old hand and stove top psychology — they’ll only get their hand burned once by putting it on a hot burner. As a result they won’t even touch the burners when they’re cold!

The Bible is not silent on this issue. Misbehaved children ought to be BEATEN — "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (Pr 22.15)." If as parents we don’t drive foolishness far from our children we will be faced with a foolish nation riddled with her foolish institutions, such as our public schools. I mean no slight against those who work in our public schools for they have my sympathies. They are working in a NEUTERED profession. Students use to respect and obey their teachers because they FEARED the strap. That instrument of inflicting pain has been taken from the schools. And in it’s place we punish them by handing out suspensions. Even a fool can see the folly in this. The child doesn’t want to go to school. To get out of school the child knows all he has to do is misbehave. Children are capable of making these associations.

To make matters worse the discipline of the home has been NEUTERED by this psychological toying of the word BEAT, and by a government that is trying to make it a criminal offence to BEAT your child.

Used to be that when a child was punished at school he received further punishment at home. This kept our nation out of hell — "Thou shalt BEAT him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell (Pr 23.14)." We have only atheism to blame for our social disorders! Bring back God, the Bible, and obedience and order would be restored in our homes, schools, and nation.

I recently learned that the sovereignty of the British courts was overturned by the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR). A father had been found innocent in the British courts after being charged with abuse for caning his young son. The son had been chasing his brother with a kitchen knife!. The ECHR overturned the court’s ruling and fined Britain $77,300!

This same psychology has been used on the word LOVE. We associate love with warm fuzzies. However love is behavioural, not emotional. When social workers say these misbehaved children need love, I agree, and LOVE will give them a good BEATING — "He that spareth his rod HATETH his son: but he that LOVETH him chasteneth him betimes (Pr 13.24)."


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This page last updated on March 14, 2003.
Copyright © 1998 Elder Doug Friesen, Alix, Alberta, Canada